What Age Is Too Old For Birthday Parties?
Posted by jefferson on Apr 7, 2012 in Parenting | 17 comments
Birthdays are always very special moments in the life of kids. They look forward to it all year long, and treasure the idea of a whole day dedicated entirely to them. In our family, we’ve always made sure to let our children know how much we love them each year on their birthday. We cook their favorite food, go to their favorite places, or as is the case for many kids– throw them a big birthday party. These parties can get very expensive, depending on how and where you do it, and it is a bit of a relief when kids reach the age where they no longer need to have these parties. Which begs the question.. How old is too old for kids’ birthday parties?
If your kids aren’t there yet, the big decision you are faced with about your kid’s birthday party is:
- Do I pay someone else to do the work and host the party out and about somewhere?
- Do I save a few bucks, but do I ton more work, and host the party ourselves?
When the kids were younger, we picked option #2 pretty much every year, and created a variety of “theme parties” at our house. One year, we had an ocean party and decorated the house with paper fish and coral and played songs like “Brandy” and the theme from Spongebob. The next year, we had a jungle party, decorated the house in paper vines and played songs like “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” The next year, we had a space party and decorated the house with plastic glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, and played songs like “Rocketman.” You get the picture. While we saved a bunch of money on these parties, they were all a ton of work. We had to do all of the planning ourselves, had to clean the house from top to bottom (twice), and often had to buy and prepare food for everyone. We also had to make sure there were games and activities, and that the party was entertaining for all of our guests.
When the kids get a little bit older (and bigger), it often seems like the better option to have the party elsewhere. We have done an inflatable party (at a place like “Pump It Up”), a roller skating party, and even a swimming party at the YMCA. Each of these parties ran us around $200, once all was said and done, which is no small amount. But if you have the money, it almost seems worth it, considering what you save yourself in time and stress.
Our oldest son is 11 years old, and we stopped having big parties for him several years ago. When he was younger, we always had a big bang. But for the past few birthdays, we have just got some friends and family together, had some cake, and cooked up some of his favorite food. He still gets gifts (bigger and better ones as he gets older), so he has been okay with the transformation.
The reason I am writing about this now, is that Sunday is our middle child’s eighth birthday. Yeah, that’s right, his birthday is on Easter (he’s actually really excited about this). For the first time, we aren’t having a big party this year, but are keeping it low-key. Instead of a big party, in addition to the normal Easter egg hunts and such, we are going to take him out to eat at his favorite restaurant. Then, next weekend, we are going to let him have a sleepover with 1-2 of his best friends, which he is really excited about. To top it off, he is getting a big present this year (a new bike!), so he definitely sees it as one of his best birthdays yet.
I suspect that this eight year old mark might be a crossover year for others as well. The number of invitations to other parties has been way down this year, in comparison to years past, even though we know our son is very popular in his class. I have always felt weird inviting kids to our son’s party that didn’t invite us to theirs. In a way, it is a bit of a relief to get my two boys past the birthday party phase. It is much easier to plan a fun day out with a friend, or to schedule a sleepover, than to take on all of the coordination and stress that goes into planning a party.
Of course, this July we will be starting all over again with our daughter, as she will be having her first birthday. We’ve never thrown a little girl birthday party before, so we’ll have to start finding some princess songs for her party playlist.
Does anyone know any good princess songs? What age do you think kids are ready to stop having big parties?
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Last year for my daughter’s first birthday, we had a big shindig! After all, the first birthday is a big deal
She turns 2 next month and this time around, we are scaling down the festivities. We are still going to celebrate obviously, but the dollar amount spent will be considerably lower.
I think parents can definitely go broke paying for kids birthday parties. Everything in moderation, I suppose. By the way, I love the themed birthday parties you mentioned. Your kids are so lucky!
i think the first party is always going to be a big one.. because everyone wants to come celebrate your new baby. we don’t have any definitive plans for the babies party yet, but we will make sure that she is smiling and giggling..
for the boys tho, it is going to be moderation from here on out
I think our birthday parties stopped when I turned 12. They are so expensive!
so you had big parties up until you were 12?.. maybe we are scaling back a little early..
I thought so too at first when you mentioned 8 years old as the transition age. If other parents within your circle are doing the same though, it’s probably safe to follow suit.
When I was a kid we didn’t have a lot of money. So I don’t think my birthday parties were ever a huge event. Usually it was a bunch of friends over for cake and some games. I think if you’ve been doing some big parties, it would make sense to gradually scale it down as they get older. Just keep in mind that birthdays can be some of the fondest memories for kids. So make that the focus rather than the price of the party and the work involved. There must be some ways to bring the costs down and limit the work required. Maybe have most of festivities outdoors?
our parties haven’t been THAT big when compared with many people we know.. i have seen people get huge bounce houses at their houses, or hire a petting zoo to come over.. those can easily be $3-500, and we have never approached that..
but we will be sure to make it memorable for our kids.. that much is certain.. even if we aren’t spending much
I’ve heard of those kinds of extravagant parties, but can’t say I’ve ever been to one of those. It must put all kinds of pressure on other parents though. It kinda turns into a competition, especially as kids start asking why they don’t have a pony or a bounce house at their party.
I never had a birthday party with other kids. We would do a “family party” where the grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins (when I was a kid, that number was considerably smaller than it is now) would be invited over for a meal with cake and ice cream for dessert. As I got into my teens, those went by the wayside and I just got to pick my birthday meal. Which was still fine by me, because I wasn’t going to get ice cream cake in February any other way.
Are you kidding? There’s no age limit for b’day celebration. We do celebrate ours.
Oh, SB, we still will Celebrate birthdays forever. We do celebrate the grown-ups in our family too.
This post was talking about throwing a big party where you invite a bunch of kids from school/activities.
That is the behavior that seems to end somewhere around year 8.
Birthday party and Birthday celebration are two different things. I think celebration is more important. Parents should make sure to make that day special for kids.
Perfectly said, Karunesh. And you are right, the birthday celebrations will go on forever.
Depends on the kid. My friend’s kid didn’t want one when he turned five, so they did something small. Birthdays themselves will always be a big deal in my book. They’re so fun, celebrating just one person!
Our daughter gets a party every other year she had big ones for 4,6,8, and her sister is getting one on her odd birthdays do far 3 and next year 5 that way we only have one big party a year and they are
Ok with it
This is a great idea!…
But we have 3 kids now, and the every 3 years thing wouldn’t fly
Wow, way to make your child feel unappreciated. And even left out friend- “My birthday is in 2 days!” your child- “My birthday is next year :\” friend- “Oh.. Uh, that’s weird.” *child loses friend and is not invited to the parties.
You dont have to throw huge parties but just a little something so she feels super special one day of the year. Right???