I Can See Your Halo
Posted by michelle on Jun 20, 2012 in Parenting, Saving Money | 43 comments
This past weekend, Jeff took our 8-year-old son to a Dad and Lad camp put on by the Cub Scouts. It was $50 for the night and included lots of activities and meals. Since we have established that we are not a camping sort of family, I was surprised that Jeff had signed up for this. Upon reading about it, though, I thought it didn’t sound so bad. They were going to learn archery, bb gun shooting, go on lots of nature walks, swimming, and more. The best part to me was the fact that they would be staying on cots and floorboards within permanent tent structures. That part sounded like my cup of tea! I mean, who wants to truly rough it? I’d rather sleep on a cot inside my cozy sleeping bag personally. In the morning, Jeff got their bags packed and made sure to grab the sun screen and bug spray. They were off to brave the elements and do what it is that real men do! I stayed home with Rock N’ Roll, our oldest (no, that’s not *really* his name. Please…we’re not that cool!) and Baby SDR, who had just settled down for her afternoon nap when they had left. I got right to work taking advantage of my daughter’s nap time to paint our baseboards which have been collecting dust in the garage waiting patiently for someone to put them up. After about an hour’s work, I received the first text.
“Bugs everywhere and your son doesn’t like the food…We might head out later.”
Translation: Apparently, a permanent tent structure is a really bad idea if you don’t like spiders and ticks. The food? Believe it or not, my 8-year-old eats very healthy, preferring to eat grilled fish, salad, and steamed vegetables to junk food like hot dogs and sloppy joes. I could totally see him turning his nose up at the fun fare. I would too!
I texted back “aww, you guys are coming home? 
”
Translation: Honestly, a part of me was secretly happy that they would be coming home as I treasure our family time, but a part of me was also sad that my husband and son might not get to enjoy as much one-on-one time that we all need with our parents/children sometimes. And yes, I use emoticons in my text messages as well as my facebook and twitter messages…and everywhere else. How else can one possibly know that I’m happy or sad if I don’t include a face? ;) See? That was tongue-in-cheek. You might not have known that if I hadn’t winked at you!
Back to the story….
Over the next couple of hours, the Jefferson messaged me here and there telling me horror stories of giant, hairy spiders running across cots and hungry ticks brazenly darting up their unknowing hosts’ legs in broad daylight. I had heard enough. My skin was already crawling and I knew, no matter what time they returned, a full-body tick search would be in full effect as would mandatory showers and laundering of all possible contaminated items and vehicles. Around 9:00pm, Jeff called to say they were en route to the nearest fast food restaurant as neither of my boys could stomach the camp gruel, aka “crunchy sloppy joes,” then would be heading home. I told him that I would keep the baby up as I knew he would want to see his little girl.
As soon as Jeff had pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, my sweet boy jumped out of the car and ran toward me, his arms stretched out, lower lip quivering. ”Mom! My stomach hurts from eating gross food and there were spiders everywhere!” I hugged him tightly and told him that he was safe now from the spiders and gross food. He did eventually tell me what a good time he had during the day with the archery and shooting ranges, pirate ship playhouse, and swimming with his friends. I was glad it was only the food and the sleeping arrangements that he found to be less than appealing. The mandatory tick search proved to be an excellent idea as we found a few of the nasty suckers inbedded in his skin. After both dirty boys had showered and tossed all their clothes in the wash, I tucked my little man into his cozy, dry, bug-free bed and Jeff and I went downstairs. I told him I wanted to tell him something, but not in front of the kids. He looked very worried.
“No no…it’s not that bad. I just don’t want them to hear.” We sat down in the living room and I made my big confession. ”We went to Target today and after I got home, I realized I had accidentally stolen something!”
“Oh no! What was it?”
“Body wash.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I know.” I frowned at him. ”Little One was trying to eat it, so I ‘hid’ it from her….in my bag….then forgot about it. I feel so bad!”
“No, that’s not bad! It’s okay. What was it? $2.00?”
“It was $2.50, yeah.”
“Don’t even worry about that! C’mon, it’s Target. They’ve got plenty of money.”
“Jeff! What if they know and are waiting to fine me or something? What if I’m on camera and they think I’m a real criminal and don’t know that I was just trying to keep my baby from eating soap? They don’t know what I was thinking, just what I did.”
“Stop worrying. Even if they figured it out, they probably wouldn’t do anything. They’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
I sat back in my seat, feeling slightly better about my accidental misdemeanor, but still feeling like I should probably visit a confessional in the morning.
So what would you do? If you see that a store has forgotten to charge you for an item, do you call them to give them a credit card over the phone? Do you drive back to the store and tell someone at the customer service counter? Do you just consider it a lucky day? Also, does it matter how much the item was worth or where you were when you figured it out? I ask because I know that if I had been in the parking lot, I would have walked back into the store and told the cashier that had just rang me up about the mistake. I then would have insisted on paying for the item. Since I was already home though and it would have been a hassle to drive back up there with a baby (hello honesty!) I didn’t drive back. I go to Target all the time and have a barking conscience! It’s quite probable that the guilt will eat me alive if I don’t turn myself in the next time I need toiletries. Still, I like to hear what other people would do in this situation.
Here’s another story that happened to a girlfriend last week. At a gas station, she put gas in her car and then went inside to buy some snacks. The attendant wasn’t paying attention and accidentally gave her back too much change. She had gotten $15 of gas and snacks for free. What would you do? Is it the clerk’s fault for giving her back too much change? Is it therefore not her responsibility to pay it back? My girlfriend left with the extra money, but returned after her conscience had beaten her up a bit, for the record. Would you have done the same if you were in her shoes?
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Yes, I have done what your friend did numerous time. I wouldn’t deliberately take something that didn’t belong to me. I may have an ulterior motive though (other than pure altruism): I would want people to return money that they received from me in error too
Roshawn @ Watson Inc recently posted..The Art of Doing Less
Ahh, the golden rule! I teach my children that it’s the most important rule they will ever learn; do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. There is no better advice!
What I like to think I would do would be to take it back the next time I was at Target (assuming I go on a regular basis). What I would *actually* do would be to make DH take it back right away while I hid in shame at home.
Nicoleandmaggie recently posted..Why do you give to charity?
Ha! That’s so funny…I do the same thing to my poor husband. He does a lot of the uncomfortable things for me. He’s so sweet.
Neither would I want to sleep beside bugs and spiders! But it would have been fun if they managed to bring along food of their own, that what I would have done otherwise. I wonder though what they would have looked like braving through bugs and spiders as they walk through the forest, if it actually were there.
My boys are strong and brave, but no one in our family really knows how to rough it! We are kind of wimpy about that. My husband is a hotel kind of guy…hehe
I don’t know what I’d do. I did this before, actually, and I forgot about it after I stressed about it, haha. But if they gave me too much change back, I’d return it. I know some companies make mistakes like that come out of the employees paycheque.
Daisy recently posted..Tips for New Grads on Getting a Job
I have done that as well, because you’re right–it’s the employee who either has to pay or is thought to have stolen the missing funds. I waited tables years ago and had to pay when a table stiffed me. I didn’t work there for much longer. I was a teenager, in my boss’s office crying that it wasn’t fair that I not only didn’t get a tip, but then had to pay for their food! It just seemed so crazy, but I’ve spoken with lots of people who used to wait tables and said their work was like that, too.
I always enjoy you and Jeff’s stories…it’s almost like having kids of my own but without the diapers and other not so fun parts.
As for accidentally stealing something or getting too much change, I guess I have an unethical side. I wouldn’t think much of it and wouldn’t feel obligated to return it. I’m maybe starting to think differently about the wrong change part though. I’m willing to let a big company lose a few bucks, but I wouldn’t want it to personally affect the cashier.
Modest Money recently posted..Getting Social on Social Media
You’re making me feel a lot better. Thank you, Jeremy. I agree that if it affects the cashier or a waitress though, NO WAY! You return immediately! Cashiers and wait staff don’t make tons of money, and they work their butts off for what they do make.
The camping trip story was sweet
I would return the body wash. I’m with you, the guilt would be my un-doing.
Mackenzie recently posted..Happy In Your Home
Mackenzie, we have so much in common! My conscience doesn’t ever let me enjoy being bad! I say that my Jimminy Cricket is chirping really loud today!
i can’t tell you how many things we “accidentally” stole when my kids were smaller. I would tuck things in and around the car seat so they couldn’t get at it or it wouldn’t fall through the cracks thinking i would remember when emptying my big cart. toothbrushes, soap, makeup, even some food items. i would find them when i got home and unloaded the baby from the car seat. i felt bad, but i never went back, cuz thats an hour drive for us. its an honest mistake. I agree with your husband, the store will be fine. The amount of opened packages I see on the shelves these days is frankly quite alarming however. people actually take the tylenol out of the package and steal it and leave the package. that i can’t imagine ever doing.
if is still bothers you, go to customer service. they may just forgive the purchase anyways, but will appreciate your honesty.
Crystal Evanisky recently posted..Wordless wednesday
I wondered the same thing, Crystal. If I went in with my body soap and explained the situation, what would they do anyway? I’m so embarrassed by it. I’d never steal anything on purpose, although I did as a kid. I *still* feel bad about it, so I have no idea how anyone could TRY to steal anything! Heinous!
My conscience is dulled by years of abuse by corporations. I feel that they overcharge simply to cover the cost of theft anyway. If the cashier makes an error, I would never correct it unless it was something that was a lot of money. You could pull the bar code off, put it in your wallet, and next time you are there ask them to add it to your order.
John @ Married (with Debt) recently posted..I Bought a Tablet (Which Makes Me a Jerk)
Omg that’s such a good idea!!!! I didn’t want to have to take my body soap back into the store with me and look like an idiot. I already look like an idiot sometimes without any help.
I would have to go back to the store and pay for the item. It doesn’t really matter how much it was, I would have a feeling of guilt.
DebtsnTaxes recently posted..Benefits or Benjamins?
Agreed. I think I’d feel this bad if it were $1 or $1000. Of course, I would have already gone back if it were $1000! Omigosh…I’m glad it was only $2.50….yikes.
First off, the camping story is great. I’m not a camper and neither is my family – hence the resorts.
Second, yes I’d return it. Yes, I’m a dork. But I also like to feel in balance on things. And part of that is when someone does something wrong or I get too much change back, I want to make it right. I think this is just a personal thing for most people.
MyMoneyDesign recently posted..Life Lessons I Learned from Super Mario
I’m so jealous of your beautiful resort pics! I understand your balance idea. Personally, it’s not about balance to me, but I just feel like Karma has her eye on me until I return it.
Can you call your Target? That way you can be embarrassed, but still at home.
Kathleen @ Frugal Portland recently posted..What’s the difference between banks and credit unions?
I like this idea, too. I don’t want to have to bring the soap in and end up with the new kid at the courtesy counter that has to call a manager and just sits there staring at me (this is how I imagine it going anyway!) That would be much better. I’m going to do something about this TONIGHT! The guilt is killing me and now that I’ve blogged about it….I just know Target is popping its giant knuckles waiting to attack me for my unintentional crimes.
Something similar happened to us in a restaurant. Our waiter forgot to charge us for our meals. I posted about it on my blog and the majority said, forget it and move on. What did we do? We went back and paid.
Aloysa @ My Broken Coin recently posted..Battling Shopping Addiction: Making Behavioral Changes
That’s a mistake that could happen to anybody. Unfortunately, it’s very serious one, and can’t be taken lightly. Personally, I would have gone back to the store, and asked to speak with the store manager. Then, I would have explained the situation, and hoped that we could resolve it. Jefferson is not correct when he says that the company has a lot of money, and that it has more pressing matters to deal with. Video surveillance cameras tell the whole story, and if you don’t rectify the situation immediately, you could end up serving jail time.
Anthony Thompson recently posted..Learning a Foreign Language – Improve Your Verbal Comprehension Skills (Here’s How)
Oh no, Anthony! Don’t scare me! I feel AWFUL about it. I know it was just soap, but I agree with you. I think Jeff was super scared when I said I’d “stolen” something and was possibly relieved when I told him it was “only” soap, know what I mean? I think that’s why his immediate response was so blase.
I don’t think you need to talk to a store manager, just go to the customer courtesy desk and explain the situation– you picked something up but accidentally didn’t pay for it. (Or, you know, DH go to the customer courtesy desk.)
Nicoleandmaggie recently posted..Quick note to the most amazing person in my world
This has happened to me quite a few times. If it’s something really small and warrants a whole event of driving back, I let it go. Then again, my conscience is probably not as good as yours
Because sometimes I consider it a blessing in disguise and just take off and run with it. I do end up calling or coming back most of the time though.
It’s kind of like finding free money on the floor, except with the free money, you don’t know who the owner is. In this case, Target would be the owner of the free money…it’s definitely up to you to decide what to do. I wouldn’t get too worked up over it though.
From Shopping to Saving recently posted..PF Link Love: Fave Reads of the Week, The I Have 2 Dads Edition
You’ll think I’m so silly! I’ve actually found a wad of rolled-up money in the parking lot at Wal-mart when I was 16/17ish…and I picked it up but felt too weird about it, so I walked it into the store and handed it to the courtesy counter telling them that someone probably lost it and hopefully they would return bla bla bla. After I thought about it a little bit, I knew the lady probably just kept it herself as it didn’t even have a clip or anything! It was just a freaking wad of cash…and I gave it away! I’m a moron…err…I WAS a moron
I would go back just because I would be wary to give my credit card over the phone (and I know I’d feel to guilty to not tell them about it and try to pay them back). I would also leave the campsite early…oh wait that wasn’t one of the questions
.
Shannon-ReadyForZero recently posted..How to Negotiate Your Bills
Haha, Shannon! I’ve got friends who love to go camping and some even have a cabin that now has running water even…and I still don’t like going!
I’m such a big baby. I love my AC, heating, electricity, putting on makeup…etc etc. I’m convinced I was a princess in a former life.
Great query here – my parents made me return a pack of gum I “stole” when I was three. I think I was too young to really understand the lesson learned, though. I guess honesty is always the best policy, even with companies like Target that are huge.
Elizabeth @ Simple Finance recently posted..Deal Of The Day Rundown: Groupon
This is true. My son “stole” $2 from me the other day when he “found” it on the counter and was going to buy a soda. Sure, it was only $2 and it was only my child wanting to buy a soda, but I punished him as if he had stolen $2000 right out of my purse…and possibly as if he was going to buy drugs with it. He was not allowed to go to the pool that day and he had to do extra chores, not to mention the lectures he had to listen to during those punishments. I teach my kids that stealing, no matter how much or what the circumstances, is wrong! Practice what you preach? Sigh…
It sounds like you have such sweet boys
If I were in the parking lot I would have taken it back for sure. And I totally get the whole hiding stuff from the baby, I do it all the time. But since you already made it home, it was unintentional, and only $2 I wouldn’t worry too much. If it is really bothering you then call and pay for it over the phone.
On anther note….I went into the gas station a couple weeks ago and the cashier gave me ten dollars more than she was supposed too. I immediately realized this, tried to hand it back to her but then she just kept saying “have a good day, have a good day” like she was intentionally trying to hush me. I didn’t know what to do, her manager was watching her so I just walked out with the extra ten dollars and it bothered me for like a week.
Oh no, Katie. That’s such a weird situation. I probably would have felt odd about that exchange as well. Maybe it was a test? Very strange! Or maybe you’re on that show “What Would You Do?”
I went through the check out at Target and put all of my items on the counter and the checker forgot to ring up a $30 shirt for Kris so when she told me my total was $57 i was expecting close to $100 so i just thought i got some really great deals. Until i got home and reviewed the receipt to see the checker forgot to ring up the shirt. Once in my life time experience, to bad it wasnt a free car. Lol! dont sweat it, its not like u walked out with a tv.
Ha, ILY Angi! Hopefully all your car troubles are behind you. When are you leaving for your trip?? I need to give you something!!
When I was little, I did girl scouts, and my favorite part was the camping! The first time I went, we lucked out and got to say in the nicest and biggest cabin. It was the only one with AC and its own fire pit outside. We were fed in a cafeteria, so it was more like a camp environment. We all slept on mattresses on the floor, and went creek walking and found snakes. I loved it.
The second time, everyone stayed in tents, and we cooked out own food, and played Red Robin at night. During the day there was a rock wall and workshops where we learned to make stuff. The site was by a prison though, and there was apparently someone broke out the night before we left. It was all the adults were talking about!
I’ve never had any experience like that, but I think it would depend on how much it cost, and who it was from. A $2.50 bottle of soap from Target? Nah. I’m not sure where my limit is though….
Cassi recently posted..The Slippery Slope of Credit Card Debt
All of that sounds fun, Cassi! I would like all of those things, but I just have such a crazy fear of bugs. I probably should get over it because it’s *mostly* irrational, but then I think about ticks and lyme disease and think “maybe I’m not crazy…”? That sounds so scary about the prisoner!! I don’t know if I would be able to sleep well those nights!
My bf’s dad and his son (my bf’s younger brother, there is a HUGE age difference in the family) went on something similar this past weekend also! I wonder if they know each other.
And I would return it. My conscious always eats me alive. However, there have been times when I don’t notice until I get home, and then I don’t bother with the hassle.
Michelle recently posted..What would you do in this situation?
Michelle, this past weekend was the district-wide camp out! I doubt they know each other, BUT…I bet you we live really close to you! The description of the style and size of your house and other things you’ve said have made me say “hmm…I wonder if she’s our neighbor!” It would be so funny if we met and already knew each other!
In the case of something small accidentally not getting paid for, I probably wouldn’t return it unless I noticed while I was still in the parking lot or something. I worked for a different “big box” store when I was in high school, and the reality is that things will get stolen, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and other things will get broken or damaged in the store. They plan for this. It doesn’t make it “right”, I know, but it isn’t going to cause the company to go bankrupt. If they’ve already done inventory it’s probably already been counted as a loss/waste.
In the case of cash, though, I’m a lot more careful – as others have said, this will often come out of the cashier’s pay if the drawer balance isn’t right.
Allison @Insomniac Lab Rat recently posted..Avoiding a Purse Snatcher
That does make me feel better, thank you. Agreed about the cash. Those cashiers work so hard for their money. They stand all day, listen to people yelling at them when the computer rings something up incorrectly, have very repetitive jobs…I think we should tip cashiers! Okay, maybe not…but one day when I have a lot of money, I’m going to be one of those crazy old ladies who tips everyone
I’d just pay them the next time I was at the store, explaining what happened. It is just $2.50. And it was a total accident. That happened to me with something I had stuck under the cart one time…little ones are distracting!
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