What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Posted by michelle on Jun 11, 2012 in Parenting | 44 comments
From the moment our daughter was born, we knew she’d be a firecracker. How fitting for the baby brought home on the 4th of July. She came out screaming from the get-go, letting the doctor know that she didn’t appreciate the rude awakening, letting the nurses know she didn’t approve of the thread count on the receiving blanket, letting us all know that she was not going to be the type of person happy to sit back and just let it all happen. She would have it her way, or you would hear about it. Having two children already, we knew what we were signing up for, but we didn’t realize the will of some children was stronger than others. On the issue of sleep, for example, our first son slept through the night practically on his own from a very young age. He’s still a great sleeper! He gets tired around 8, and prefers to wake up around 6:30-7am. Our oldest also loves reading and could curl up with a book, content to spend an afternoon with Rick Riordan and other youth-fiction writers, never to complain of boredom.
Our daughter, though, has been a handful with the whole sleeping thing from the beginning. She’s a very sweet baby and all she wants is to be held and rocked and kissed and cuddled, especially at night. Being the most beautiful girl in all the land makes it extremely difficult for us to not give in to her every whimper, but the lack of sleep was really beginning to take its toll. Being groggy and lethargic became part of my norm. The day I couldn’t think of the word “toaster” was the day I said “That’s it. Sleep training starts TONIGHT!” I pressed the lever on the thing with slits that browns my bread and kissed my daughter’s fluffy little head. It would be harder on me than her, I knew already.
That night, I made sure to chill a bottle of white wine, mapped out an official bedtime routine with the Jeff, and got to work. Since our daughter had been going to bed with us around midnight, waking several times a night, then waking for good around 6, I thought 10 o’clock was a good time to start. We would eventually scale back to a more acceptable baby bed time, but 10 o’clock was already ambitious, I felt. Around 8, we took a walk as a family. Baby SDR rides in the stroller and loves this time. She is usually very calm and happy during this time. Around 8:30, we gave her a bath and put on her pajamas. At 9, I read her a book, sang her some songs while she sat in my lap and did the hand gestures for some of her favorite tunes. Around 9:40, Jeff gave her a bottle. After burping her, changing her, and cuddling with her a bit, he took her up to bed. Since she’d never been forced to go to bed, she had no idea what was about to happen. She smiled at me as her daddy took her upstairs. I wonder if she thought they were going to play a silly game. I wonder if she thought she was going to be taken to her brothers’ rooms to go through their belongings, a favorite past-time of hers much to the boys’ chagrin. It wasn’t until she was placed in the crib that she quickly realized what was happening.
From downstairs, I could tell that Jeff was walking out of the room by the desperate shrieks of my daughter. Since I speak a little Baby, I know that she was saying “Daddy, no! Please take me out of here! I love you. Why are you leaving me? Don’t you want to play some more? Are you mad at me? Mommy?! Where’s Mommy?” My heart broke as I heard her cries go from questioning our love to baby cuss words and accusations. I poured myself a glass of wine and consulted my friends on Facebook. I was actually on my way upstairs with a tissue for her nose, which I knew would be running from all the crying, so I could kiss her, tell her I loved her, and then “goodnight” when she suddenly stopped crying. I was halfway down the hall and sure that she hadn’t possibly heard me ascend the stairs as I’d purposely tiptoed around all of the known floor creaks. Halfway down the hall, I stood frozen like a deer who had spotted my hunter…before my hunter had spotted me. Fearful of waking her, I just stood and watched her tiny body lift and fall with each breath. After a few minutes, I tiptoed back down the stairs to report to Jeff that we had won the first round. On the way to our own bed a few hours later, we tiptoed in to check on her. She was sleeping soundly, and her nose didn’t seem to be the runny mess I had assumed it would be. The next night, she only cried for 6 minutes. The third night, I hadn’t even made it to the stairs before I heard the thump of her falling to her mattress and then the soft “yaya” whimpers of her putting herself to sleep.
Aside from a couple of hiccups that have since worked themselves out, our daughter has taught herself to sleep through the night in about a week’s time. We are so proud of her. At first, I was scared that she would resent me for ignoring her cries, but I was thankfully wrong about that as well. I misjudged my sweet girl. I thought she was destined to be a nightly terror just like my in-laws tell me Baby Jeff apparently was until he was 2!
Most mornings now, I wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the day. I have so much more energy and clarity, and less irritability! I have time to shower and clean the house, which makes me a very happy mommy. My conclusion on sleep-training; I think that every child is different. Some children are ready to sleep through the night at 8 weeks (A couple we know, friends of ours, has a little boy who’s slept like a champ since he was 2 months!) while other babies need more time to learn the craft. I told you about Jeff being 2 before he slept through the night, which is not the norm. It’s also unfortunately not that uncommon either. I don’t think that the “cry it out” approach is best for all babies. For my boys, it wasn’t necessary. For my daughter, we knew that she was ready and that it was time to try it, since we had tried everything else. I think this is a very personal decision that parents need to make on their own. For us, at 11 months, the time was right and it has worked for us. And my little mama’s girl? She still loves me a lot and I’m still her favorite. (Shh…don’t tell Jeff I said that.) She’s such a sweet baby and we are so blessed to have her in our lives. Her sleeping through the night is just the icing on the cupcake.
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Aww this is a lovely story! I have 11 nieces and nephews and they’ve all had their share of bumps when it comes to sleeping through the night. I’m happy it went so well for you.
Jordann @ My Alternate Life recently posted..My Minimalist Challenge
We were so lucky with our first child, but he’s not normal in that respect!
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
My 1st daughter (I have 3!) slept through the night at 9 weeks. Our 2nd took about 1-2 years to actually get through a night and our 3rd is about as easy going as they come.
My wife and I joke that if our 2nd daughter was our 1st we’d only have 1 child.
We stick to a pretty consistent schedule and routine, but that doesn’t work for everyone. In the end, i think John Lennon had it right:
Whatever gets you through the night!
Joe Morgan recently posted..Credit Card Debt Down, Defaults Up.
You and Jeff sound like awesome parents. You’re obviously raising them very well and helping build strong values. I’m a long way from being a parent but the whole sleep issue has always sounded rather intimidating. You always hear all these stories of babies who wake up their parents multiple times each night. So it must be a big relief for her to take to sleeping so well once you got her on more of a schedule.
Modest Money recently posted..Leaving Your Heart Out Of Financial Decisions
Thanks, Jeremy! Being good parents is definitely something for which we strive. We are working toward the rest of the schedule. She sleeps from about 9:30-5, wakes up briefly and goes back to sleep til 8 now, but we’re still new to this. I’m hoping to continue to improve on that and her napping schedule as well.
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Yea! That’s awesome that you got your daughter to sleep through the night on her own!
It’s the small things, ya know?
Mackenzie recently posted..Cheesy, Oozy Guacamole Bean Dip
Thanks, Mackenzie! It’s the tiniest of things, that’s for sure. Amazing how much my temperament has improved (no, not the baby’s…MINE!)
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
It would be tough just letting your child cry it out but I’m pretty sure that’s the approach that I’m going to take.
Of course I say that now but it might be different when we actually give it a whirl.
It’s obviously a personal decision but I don’t know if I can argue the psychology behind constantly “babying” a child and showing positive reinforcement to bad behavior (crying and not going to sleep).
With all of that said, I’ll acknowledge that I’m a stubborn ass though. lol
WorkSaveLive recently posted..We’re Great at Paying Bills: Our Journey to Financial Peace May 2012
Good, Jason! Being a stubborn ass is a good attribute when sleep-training your kids. It’s a battle of the wills. If you decide you’re going to teach your baby to sleep through the night, you probably will succeed. It’s harder when you’re a wimp and give in to your child even though you know they’re not hungry or in need of a diaper–I struggled with it honestly. I predict you will have some great sleepers one day!
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
The best thing we ever did was train our kids to go to bed at 8pm. Most of our friends let their kids stay up until 10 or later. I don’t understand why someone would want to hang out with their kids all night. Putting them to bed early gives us some quiet time to recharge and spend time together as a couple. Glad you found the sweet spot
John @ Married (with Debt) recently posted..Push Yourself, But Not Over a Cliff
We are working on the schedule now as well, John. We’re at 9:30 now, and will continue to scale back until we’re at 8:30 which is a good time for us.
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Awww Michelle! This story was adorable. I loved it..especially the part about going through her brothers’ stuff. Sounds so much like what my little sister was like
At least she has 2 big brothers to help her out when she is older!
My best friend’s baby sleeps so soundly and is the calmest 1 year old ever. I really hope my future kids are like yours!:)
I would pay a lot for a good night’s sleep… I really don’t know how parents do it.
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I predict you will have beautiful, sweet children one day, Erika! Sleep-training is hard, but you will be giving your children the gift of knowing how to self soothe and getting a good night’s sleep. And you’re right…they’re much calmer and sweeter when they get some zzz’s!
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Our little girl was the same way. She was in that baby warmer screeching her little lungs out, and my wife and I both knew at that moment it would be nothing like our first. Same with us though, that she gets away with so much being that she’s so darn beautiful!
Money Beagle recently posted..My Garage Is My Kryptonite…What’s Yours?
It’s so hard having gorgeous children, isn’t it MB?
) Why oh why do they have to be so darn cute?! And fiery…lol
Michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
This is such a beautiful story! It warms my heart to read about the unconditional and untainted love that a mother feels for her little ones. Your daughter does in deed sound like a real firecracker. My guess is that she will grow up to become a beautiful young woman (just like he mom), and become a peaceful warrior. She’s going to do something great in life.
Anthony Thompson recently posted..Self Management – The Greatest Sales Books Ever Written
I think you’re right, Anthony! Beautiful and strong. I hope I can handle her teenage years.
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Things always seem to hard on us than it is on them. I know that’s how I’m feeling right now about the potty training and taking away of the soother. I think she will be fine, but I just don’t want to do it and make her mad!! It’s crazy I know. She is my third and have dealt with all this twice before so it’s not like I haven’t lived thru it. I just really don’t know what is losing me back. I’m such a sucker
You’re so right. It’s always harder on the parents. What helped me deal the first night was a friend of mine reminding me that it’s probably not the first time I’ve made her cry by doing what’s right, not what she wanted…and that it definitely wouldn’t be the last time. I love being my kids’ friend, but they need me to be their parent as well.
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
All 3 of your children sound absolutely adorable. Sounds like you guys are doing an awesome job!! It always interests me how parents are able to identify the different personality traits amongst their children and then work with each child based on those traits.
Thank you for the sweet comment, Sicorra. It’s a bit of a challenge when your kids have different personalities and different needs, but at least our 3 goobas have one thing in common — big hearts
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Oh my gosh we’ve been having such troubles with this. We need to get on it…I’m neverous that DC is going to hate me, too, so this is very timely! Thanks for sharing your success!
femmefrugality recently posted..How to Sell Your Textbook
Brynn, I won’t tell you what method to try, but if you do a form of CIO (we didn’t do the cry-all-night-and-ignore version of that btw! We do checks and cuddles, change her diaper if needed…just quietly without stimulating her, and even gave her a bottle in the MOTN the first night since she was used to eating then and I didn’t want her to be hungry), I can tell you that my daughter does not hate me in any way! She’s a very affectionate baby and she is definitely a mama’s girl. I was worried about the same thing. I didn’t want to lose the bond…just the sleepless nights. Anyway, after the second night of only fussing (not screaming) for 6 mins, she slept through the night (9:40-6:45) without waking once and she was SO sweet and refreshed that day! I knew then that we had done the right thing, no question! Good luck to you! If you ever want to chat about the babies, you know where to find me!
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
What a cute story! I’m glad it went as well as it did, and you got to enjoy your glass of wine.
Kathleen @ Frugal Portland recently posted..State of my Debts: June Check in
Me too! I hadn’t even finished it and she was out like a light.
That made it taste a little sweeter!
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
OMG, this story is great, but makes me realize I am right in not wanting kids. I don’t handle lack of sleep well. Literally. I get sick without a solid 7-8 hours a night after 3-4 days in a row without. More power to you having done it 3 times, you’ve obviously got a much stronger willpower than I do!
CultOfMoney recently posted..Carnival of Financial Planning – Edition #240
Oh no, Karl! That issue is definitely not compatible with most babies’ sleep patterns! I get groggy and irritable with less sleep, but it takes a long time to get to that even. If I get several nights of only 3-4 hours of sleep a night in a row, it starts to take a toll. Usually though, I can just drink a cup of coffee and be okay.
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
I don’t have any kids but I’ve always wondered if I’d be able to do the “cry it out” method. Seems so heartless, and I say that as someone who’s never had kids. Because I know that if other methods fail than it has to be done. I really hope when I have kids that it’s easier than that.
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I’ve always said that “I’m not a cry it out kind of parent”…before recently! It got to the point where she couldn’t comfort herself at all. She wasn’t even sleeping in her own crib. She was in bed with me, on my arm or chest, waking several times a night between the hours of 12 (when we went to bed) and 5-6 (when the sun would come up and she decided it was time to get up!) I held out a LONG time before letting her cry for even a few minutes. Honestly, I don’t think I’m even using the correct terms because I didn’t let her cry all night! I checked on her every few minutes and when I was on my way up for the 3rd time on the 1st night, she fell asleep on her own! The second night, she only fussed for 6 minutes total. I guess I should call it “sleep training” not “cry it out” technically, but there were *some* tears.
Don’t worry….I’m sure all your future babies will sleep on their own and never cry. 
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Great article to read a few months before our first child is born. Thanks a lot guys
Sean @One Smart Dollar recently posted..How to Eat Right on a Budget
So excited for you, Sean!
“She’s a very sweet baby and all she wants is to be held and rocked and kissed and cuddled, especially at night.”
Sounds like me.
AverageJoe recently posted..7 Financial Hacks to Avoid
There are few people who make me speechless, Joe…
I got nothin.
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
What a great story. I am glad you got her to sleep through the night at an early age. My oldest daughter didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was 15 months, then two months later I had my second daughter.Luckily she was a very good sleeper.
Isn’t it funny how babies can be so different from their sibs?
michelle recently posted..What Would You Pay For A Good Night’s Sleep?
Touching story! It’s tough, but you did the right thing. Sometimes they have to work it out themselves, and sometimes you have to let them for your own sanity!
MyMoneyDesign recently posted..What Does “Stocks Return 8 Percent Each Year” Actually Mean?
I’m so proud of my little girl for figuring it out on her own! Now, she doesn’t cry at all when I lay her down
What a cute story! I don’t have any kids yet but it’s nice to hear stories like this from people who do.
Princess P recently posted..Why Females are Better Investors
Thanks, Princess P! Kids are a lot of fun (and a little bit of work.)
A good night’s sleep is absolutely priceless! I am so happy that things worked out for you. I can only imagine how miserable I would be if I repeatedly had to go without sleep. I have observed the same variability in how soon the kiddies sleep through the night with my friends’ kids.
Roshawn @ Watson Inc recently posted..The Art of Doing Less
So true, Roshawn. I was pretty miserable. Remember the movie Groundhog Day? That was what my life was beginning to feel like! Now, I wake up without a baby in bed with me and I can actually get ready in the morning. Crazy stuff, right?
I have so much respect for parents. I cherish my sleep so much, so I couldn’t imagine being as patient as you.
Marissa @ Thirty Six Months recently posted..2 $50 Old Navy Gift Card Giveaway!
Sleep is very important to me. I need at least 7 hours to feel human the next day. I would not just pay for a good night sleep, I could kill. Just kidding. You are waaaay to patient. But I guess it is a part of being a parent. We don’t have kids. I think because we value our sleep too much.
Enjoyed your story!
Aloysa @ My Broken Coin recently posted..How to Negotiate A Raise From an Insider’s Point of View
We are expecting our second child and I am dreading this. Our daughter is a fantastic sleeper and only wakes if she is ill or has a bad dream.
@Aloysa, if you do have kids you will soon learn to deal with it!
Btw, I read all of Rick Riordan’s books and I’m 30 this year. I really got in to the demi-god thing and can’t wait for the next book. Percy Jackson and the Lightening thief film sucked though!