Posted by jefferson on Jul 13, 2012 in Parenting | 29 comments
What is it that separates an olympian from a normal athlete? How does someone, against all odds, raise their game to the point where they are one of the very best in the world for their given sport? Is it purely natural talent, or is there something in their upbringing that their parents did to help foster this future success? The networks always flip the camera into the crowd for a shot of proud mom and dad, after a young athlete does something amazing. As a parent myself, it is easy to see the pride and admiration that they must feel from a half a world away. When I look at my own kids, I wonder if they will ever have it what it takes to one day represent their country in an Olympic Games.
I have no doubt that being a parent to an aspiring olympian requires an incredible amount of commitment. However, I question whether I would have the patience or even the desire to build my family’s whole world around a single sport or activity. I aim for my kids to have a well-balanced life with a variety of experiences, and I truly have no desire to become a “tiger dad.” My kids play a variety of sports today (and other activities), and with three children to cart around– life already feels quite hectic.
While my kids are gaining lots of experience, I have my doubts that they have the potential to develop Olympic caliber skills in any of their current activities. All the same, I do encourage them to keep working and improving and doing their best. Perhaps they just haven’t found their calling yet, as there 29 events in the Summer Olympics and my children have certainly never tried gymnastics, judo, or badminton. If my kids do come across an activity that they truly excel at, I want to do everything in my power to nourish and encourage that talent, while still making sure to not sacrifice the joys of childhood for my little ones.
I spent some time in the past few weeks reading interviews of Olympic athletes, trying to find commonalities in their backgrounds that can help explain how they were able to take it to the next level. What I found is that if your children are going to have a chance to be the next Michael Phelps or Shawn Johnson, nourishing the qualities below is a good starting point.
DESIRE
It all begins with a love of the sport. If your child is to experience greatness, they have to be able to visualize themselves as a top performer, and have a desire to get to the top of the mountain. If your child whines and complains every time that you have to take them to practice, chances are good they don’t have a strong enough desire for greatness. They can still get enjoyment and have many positive experiences with the sport, but they may never be great. (I just know someone’s going to be offended by this.)
When I was younger, I was an excellent swimmer and did very well in the sport. It was in the realm of possibilities, albeit unlikely, that had I truly dedicated myself to the sport– I could have one day competed at the college level and eventually nationally. I enjoyed swimming and had a strong competitive fire, but I admit that I didn’t have the needed desire to do whatever it takes to become the very best. Today, I look back on that time as a missed opportunity, but I know that this lack of passion is what eventually pulled me away from the sport.
PRACTICE
In reading stories of different Olympians, you can tell from the way that their coaches talk about them that they all take practice very seriously. Not only do they practice for multiple hours each day, but they practice at a different level than everyone else. Olympic caliber athletes don’t just “go through the motions” in practice, knowing that they can turn it on when the real competition begins. Instead, they practice with raw intensity, and fully embrace the notion that the harder that they train, the better an athlete they will become.
As a parent, this is where your child will need your commitment in order to reach their potential. You not only need to drive them to their various practices and competitions around town, but you may also be asked to sign them up for lessons with a professional instructor (which won’t be cheap). When they are first getting into a sport, you will need to help them understand the basic concepts and provide assistance as they work their way up the learning curve. This can mean everything from playing catch in the backyard, to going over dance rehearsals, to doing light sparring with your young taekwondo student.
DEDICATION
The creation of an Olympic athlete is not something that will happen accidentally. It will take years and years of training, and there will be successes and failures along the way. With all of that, the odds are still stacked against them. Only 4% of major league baseball players that are drafted actually make it all of the way to the major leagues. With the extremely small number of slots available, the odds to represent your country in the Olympics are far, far more difficult.
With this reality, you will need to make sure that your children are motivated not just by the end result, but also by the journey that it takes to get there. Help them to see that they can use their failures and defeats as motivation to train harder and come back stronger. It will take dedication far above and beyond the norm, to truly become one of the best in the world at something. It is exactly that dedication that makes Olympic athletes and what they have accomplished so admirable.
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As you watch the Olympics this year with your children, remember what these athletes have likely been through to get to where they are. Explain what a great honor it is to represent your country, and what a huge moment this is for everyone involved. I hope to help my kids use the dedication and desire that they see from the athletes in London, as fuel to help motivate them in their own activities and endeavors.

I’m laughing as I read this because so many parents envision their children as Olympic athletes, only to discover later just how truly gifted these people are. My son goes to swim practice twice a day during the summer and is up at 5:15 every morning for practice during the school year (two hours before school). While he’s a gifted athlete and works his butt off, he knows the even swimming in college might be a stretch.
I don’t feel bad because he really enjoys it. I feel bad for his teammates’ parents, though, who are let down that their kid isn’t turning out to be the phenom they’d thought.
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Your son sons a lot like me when I was younger.. But it is important for parents to temper their expectations.. I think that my parents, who spent thousands of dollars and hours on my swimming when I was younger, thought that it would one day pay off with a college scholarship.. and that never materialized (I quit before it had the chance to)..
I was never really any good at the extra curricular that I did when I was young. I was more in it to be social, but I always wanted to be super disciplined and practice all the time and be good at something.
This is a cool post, because I think it can apply to being great at anything.
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I wish that I had taken sports more seriously when I was younger.. But I didn’t. I had the natural talent to be very special, and I did work hard at it.. but obviously not as hard as others..
You are correct in stating that there are lessons in this post that can be applied to being great at anything..
As awesome as it would be for my future kids to be some world class athlete, I’d have to be realistic about it. Chances are so incredibly slim that they could make a professional career out of their love of some sport. So unless they really show strong passion for a sport, I don’t think you can really push them at all. You can just be supportive in whatever they pursue and make sure they are happy. Sports are a great environment to learn all kinds of life skills though. For that reason alone I’d encourage them to get involved in multiple sports.
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As I mentioned in the post.. It really all comes down to passion from within. You are correct in stating that you can’t push them and force it..
I fully intend to continue to get my children involved in a variety of sports, some of which they have probably not even tried yet (maybe golf or tennis.. maybe the martial arts)..
Love this post! I always wished that my parents would have put me in sports when I was younger, but they didn’t. I plan on doing that with my future children. Practice and dedication can make perfect.
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You can still try sports as a grown-up, Michelle! Why not sign up for a volleyball or softball league? You will probably not morph into an olympian (it may already be too late), but you will have a blast..
I enjoyed reading this post. My Dad feels like my daughter should be involved in golf or tennis because not many girls are in these sports thus more success rate of schlorships or going pro. However she simply has no desire to Golf or play tennis. Each year I let her choose her sport. For 2 years it was soccer, she actually did really well but the last season she just hated it. Her kindergarten year, I made the decision to involve her in no sports so she can focus and get use to making school her #1 priority. So, 1st grade came and she picked gymnastics. I can honestly say she rocks. Within 12 months she has moved to a level 3 gymnast. Gymnastic season is almost over and I asked her…Do you want to re-enroll? Her answer was yes, mom I want to get better. I was happy to know that she has that desire and drive to succeed in the sport. Plus alot of colleges are adding a Gymnastic team to their school. I know we are far from college but it is just natural as a parent to think of your childs future. Unfortunately Gymnastics is not a “cheap” sport but my parents had no money to involve me in sports….I had a younger brother and sister. My brother was the baby and he as involved in every sport you can think of. My sis and I were out the house and it was in my parents budget to do that for me. I do my best to budget her activities and provide to her what I did not have.
“not in my parents budget to that for me” Sorry!
Really good comment, Jessica.
I know that there are niche sports out there that are certainly easier to get into. My kids swim and play soccer and baseball, which are probably 3 of the most over-saturated sports in this country. The odds that my kids will emerge from the pack are next to none. They aren’t even the best on their current teams… But they love playing them, and that is what matters to me.
It is great that your daughter has found gymnastics and is excelling. You are doing her a great service by providing her that opportunity. I hear you when you say that you didn’t have the same opportunities when you were a child, and I think that this is what we strive for as parents– to try to provide a better life for our children than we got for ourselves.
I don’t think I would wish this upon my kids. If they have the talent and drive, fine, but in my opinion, it forces them to grow up a lot earlier than other kids if they go down this path, and I’m a big fan of letting kids be kids for as long as they can. It all passes by so fast anyways.
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Well said, MB.. it does force them to grow up early.. Swimming for 4 hours a day will cause you to miss out on a bunch.
There are a lot of things in this world and people that will make kids grow up before their time and do a lot more damage.
Sadly my dear son has found that out. Making a commitment to a spot like swimming has helped him in the healing process, it lets him see that he can work hard to achieve some special and that not matter what people do he can always move forward in a positive way.
I tell him – at his age if he wants to be an olympic swimmer he can but I will also talk to him about his real changes of reaching that level when he is older. At his age being in the olympics is a fun idea why should I be the fun police. No all are over bearing monsters!
Did you hate your mum and dad when you found out that santa was not real? no because it was a magical time in your life and so is this time for my son.
I wish my parents would have encouraged me more with sports. I was a tomboy and athletic, but I was never part of any organized sport. I definitely will encourage my daughter when she shows an interest in sports as whe gets older.
Love this post!
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While I don’t think you should demand that your kids dedicate themselves to *anything*.. you should give them opportunities and a nice variety of experiences..
The benefits of athletics are many.. friendship, learning to deal with success and failure, health, learning to work with others, and many more..
I’m really excited to watch the Olympics and the pride I feel when watching people represent our country is something I don’t feel very often.
We actually bought a new (cheap) TV last week in anticipation of watching the events in the coming weeks. It wasn’t the only reason we got it of course, but it was part of it.
I’m not sure if I care to have my (eventual) kids become Olympic athletes. From everything I’ve seen it’s clear they don’t live balanced lives and their lives are consumed with their sport. Micheal Phelps has even stated that he’ll probably never swim in a pool again once this year’s games are over.
They don’t have a life, they have to stay on a strict diet, they practice numerous hours a day, and forgo many of the things most of us take for granted. Sure, there is some honor involved but I’m not sure it makes up for everything they’re missing out on.
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I agree, Jason..
If my kids were the ones driving the train, then I would certainly climb on-board.
If they are driven to achieve greatness, I will help facilitate that.. But I don’t think you can force it upon anyone.
What I try to do as a parent is to be a good role model and to help them understand the value of persistence and hard work.
Hopefully they can take those lessons, along with the life experiences that come with them, and be successful in their endeavors.
Awesome article. A lot of people think of the olympics as just that, the olympics but its so much more. Like you said these athlete have given so much of their life to something they love. If only everyone could have as much dedication to the things they are involved in this would would be such a better place.
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Very well said, Sean.. I only wish I could have that type of dedication to my own dreams and pursuits.
I don’t like sports enough to take my kids to practice all day. Also, with my genes, the kids will be clumsy, not athletic!
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Oh.. You never know, Kathleen. Just because we are (or are not) good at something, doesn’t mean our kids will end up the same way. Was Micheal Phelps’s dad an olympic swimmer?? (the answer is no).
My entire family plays soccer, but my brother is by far the best of all of us. The highest level he competed in was all provincial (state) and tried out for the national under 16 team.
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You took a much gentler approach than I would have. While I admire all these athletes, sometimes I wonder if their parents aren’t like momagers and dadagers in hollywood, or those crazy psycho moms on toddlers in tiaras. This provides a much different view. It’s a huge commitment for the whole family, and I’m sure a lot of the parents aren’t crazy, but rather dedicated like you described.
So excited to watch everyone compete in a couple of weeks!
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If your child has innate desire to become the best in certain sport, by all means, you have to do all you can as a parent to encourage and support his/her ambition. But, it’s a dangerous game when parents start building dream of raising a kid to compete in Olympics. I think it is both sad and unfortunate for that kid who has been targeted to do something against his/her wish.
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I’m sure there are a few different roads to take. My former roommate is on the US Women’s track team but never even competed in her event until college. In high school, track was just something to do in the off-season after basketball was over.
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I would have been an Olympic Athelete, but there’s no “Marching Band Drummer” competition. Bummer. I agree with all of these things, but also some people are friggin’ bred to be atheletes. There are genetics at play, here. My son could be great at basketball, but might not make the Olympic team if he’s 5’10″ (not saying it’s not possible, just less likely).
But I think what you have listed can apply to many other areas of life, not just sports. And if you really want to be great at anything, you need all of these traits to get there.
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I’m certain parenting has something to do with athletes success since so many pro-athletes have children that become pro-athelets.
I’ve been trying to introduce my daughter to sports.She’s currently doing swimming. However, I hope my kids are passionate about something even if it’s not sports. Maybe writing, art or music.
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I agree completely, JP. I just want my kids to find passion in something, it certainly doesn’t have to be sports.