See Elephant Run
Posted by michelle on Aug 28, 2012 in Eliminating Debt | 46 comments
The short-lived torrential rainfall that kept us home on Sunday actually did a nice job of softening our pale, parched lawn. Barefoot and carefree, we played out front with our little one running around in circles, hopping over stones and stomping in muddy puddles before deciding to trade off on baby duty by pulling weeds and sweeping up the mulch that had flooded over onto our front walkway. When it was Jeff’s turn to pull weeds, he looked up at me obviously overwhelmed by the task at hand.
“I feel like we could pull weeds for another 10 hours and still have a lot.”
“Yeah? You might be right.” Our lawn is a mess because of not watering it enough this year, and of course skipping the fertilizer.
“Why don’t we just let it go and we can re-seed in the Spring?”
After glaring at him for a moment, I faceciously agreed. ”Sure! Sounds like a great plan. Hey, why don’t we do the same thing with our debt? I’m sure we could just pay off some of that in the Spring, right? Maybe we could just say ‘screw it’ and rack up another few grand or so. We’re young, right?”
“Okay, I get it!”
“How do you eat an elephant, Jeff?”
“I said I get it.”
Sensing that my words were flirting with the line between inspirational and annoying, I let it go. If I had proceeded, I might have found myself sitting outside in the mud by myself, pulling weeds and watching my elephant of a yard waste pile grow.
Later that night, I began to realize how many times my husband had been the one talking me down off the ledge. How many times had I called him asking if it was really absolutely necessary to abstain from shopping? How many times had I needed emotional support when I felt so down about our financial situation that I’d considered giving up? How many nights did I need coaxing into the light? And who had been the one who had lifted me up, dusted me off, and held my hand through those times? I realized that my husband and I have been taking turns being the strong one throughout this process, and that wasn’t all.
I also realized how many other people have been so supportive to us, pulling us through with their encouraging words, thoughtful insight, and yes–even their monetary help. Both of our moms have helped us out just recently with things that we needed to buy for the kids and weren’t quite sure from where in the budget the money would come. The thing is…I would have bought my kids these things if they had given me a little boost or not. My oldest son has foot problems and needed some supportive shoes and inserts. This isn’t something you can buy at a department store with a coupon on a sale day. In fact, his shoes cost more than the shoes of both my other 2 children put together. I could have bought 3 pairs for the price! My mom knows that I would have bought them no matter what. Maybe she’s rewarding me for being a good mom, or maybe she’s proud of me for taking after her–as she had always bought good shoes for me and my sister, even when money was tight. Maybe still, she’s just a generous, loving grandma who wanted to help out her daughter and grandson. I’ll never know and I’ll likely never ask, but I hope she knows how much I truly appreciate her kindness and support in otherwise unsure times. Jefferson’s mom was also generous this week, asking if our boys needed any jeans for school. She gave us some money to buy the kids some new clothes, and we were so touched. New clothes are not a necessity, but grandmas know how important it is for kids to have the “right” clothes in school. She came over yesterday for a visit, and noted how big our toddler had gotten. Growth spurts can be quite the budget buster, and since both Jefferson and I are fairly tall, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a few more out of each child.
Moms, if you’re reading this, thank you. I hope, one day, to be able to take care of you the way you’ve always taken care of us. I’m thinking maybe a huge family vacation in two years. :)
If I were a pessimist, I would look back on the time since January when we started this long journey and think of it as days wasted. I could have been vacationing this year. I could have been getting my hair and nails done to go out for drinks. I could have been the best-dressed mama if I had wanted to, but it became less important. If I had not had the support of my awesome family, friends, and the best husband ever, would I have been one of those desperate people who feel they have no other choice? Would I have contemplated payday loans or other awful ways to try to make it all work? Would I have fooled myself into getting another credit card since mine were pretty maxed out? Thankfully, I had you as well. This blog has been so helpful to me in allowing me to vent, rant, discuss, attempt, fail, pick myself back up, and it’s also served as a jumping pad for what I truly love, which is writing. I’ve always enjoyed writing out my feelings and have always felt immediately better after being able to get things off my chest, and onto the laptop screen. Thank you all so much, my lovely readers, for commenting, telling me your stories and tips, and making me feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s no way for one person to eat an elephant by herself anyway. I don’t have to. You have all taken a little piece of this giant mess, and helped me in more ways than you could ever know.
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Awwwww…..that’s so nice! I am in the same boat as you- I have a supportive spouse and great parents. I can’t imagine my life without them! And though we are both working hard and sacrificing now- in the end it will be worth it. Everything will be funner when there are no bills in the mail and no debt to be paid.
Have a great day!
Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted..Separate Finances: A Recipe for Marital Disaster
Holly, we are so lucky! I can’t wait til we can be the generous ones. I want to be able to take my friends out to dinner and buy nice gifts for my parents. When we can do so without going further into debt, it will be so much sweeter.
I think all us readers should be thanking you for always putting such great content out there for us to read. Thanks for all your hard work!
DC @ Young Adult Money recently posted..Are You Ready to Own a Home?
Thanks, DC! Blogging can be hard work, as you know, and writing good content is the least of it in my opinion!
Good analogy and trick to convince your hubby. Goo things should start now, unnecessary things can wait.
One suggestion, add some more links in this article, internal and authority.
SB @ One Cent at a Time recently posted..10 Tips to Avoid Internet Fraud and Scams
I’m probably not very good at adding links. This is true, SB! Thanks for the tip. I really appreciate all the tips I can get!
Support is always great and I think the blogger community does a great job supporting eachother (yea us!). And what I found inspriational about this post was “how do you eat an elephant?” I’d NEVER heard that before, but it’s good, really good. THanks for that.
TB at BlueCollarWorkman recently posted..How to Prevent a Balcony Collapse
Are you serious, TB? That’s an old saying! One bite at a time.
Thanks for your support–you rock!
I was so happy when it rained on Sunday! Definitely what we needed. And that’s great that you have such a supportive family, that is something I am currently working on.
Michelle recently posted..Car Buying Mistakes
I know…that rain was crazy too! Thanks, Michelle. We are so lucky to have such a great support group, I know.
Considering that I walked to work today in the rain without an umbrella (thanks weather channel! *sigh*), I wasn’t ready to read anything about rain. But, I loved the analogy between keeping up with the yard and debt. It can be difficult to stay on top of everything all the time (I’m thinking dishes), but it’s SO much easier, as you admitted.
20′s Finances recently posted..Do You Remember Your First Time?
Oh, the dishes! I’ve actually joked (maybe I’m joking) that I’d never want a full-time maid, but having someone come over and doing the dishes nightly? I could sooo go for that! Sorry you had to walk in the rain! Are you sure you were watching the weather for the right city?
I’m laughing at 20′s comment right now because there’s a pile of dishes waiting with my name on it.
You two are very inspirational. I love coming here and reading about the juggling act/nearly failing/picking back up. People need to read this stuff to stay committed to their focus.
AverageJoe recently posted..You Have No Idea What I Paid For This Room
Thanks, Joe! This is currently the only way I *can* be generous! Good luck with your dishes!
I totally agree that the support from others is so crucial in times of sacrifice. I know the blogging community has helped me tremendously in getting my finances back on track. When I started blogging I had no job and little direction in where I want to go. Now things are so much clearer and I feel my finances are in much better shape. I may have even found a special someone to help provide even more support.
Modest Money recently posted..5 Apps to Inspire your New Home Build
That’s awesome, Jeremy!! Don’t jinx it now. You have definitely come a long way in your blogging adventure!
Aww what a nice post! I totally feel that way about my parents and in-law and this blogging community. Just this past weekend, my fiancée and I were lamenting not being able to afford to go to a concert put on by one of our favourite bands, and then a few days later my father in law stopped by and give us a little financial contribution towards the cost of it – he wouldn’t take no for an answer. It’s little gestures like this that make the whole journey to debt freedom doable.
Jordann @ My Alternate Life recently posted..2012: The Year of the Goal
Your FIL rocks! Where would we be without the support from our families? I don’t like to think about it. Enjoy your concert, Jordann!
Awwww…what a touching story.
It’s awesome to have different people support you throughout life and the struggle that is getting out of debt and living financially responsible lives. Having support parents definitely is a nice thing and allowing them to buy some things for the kids never hurts the budget. 
Jason recently posted..Recipe: Red Bean Salad with Chickpeas
Jason, you’re right. There is a little bit of “allowing” them to as well, because we really don’t want to *need* any help. I’m a big girl! I’m a great mom. I shouldn’t need my parents to help me still, so it is humbling, but I still appreciate it. I also wanted to blog about it, because I like being transparent about our financial situation. When people see my kids in new shoes and wearing name-brand jeans, I don’t want them to think that we’re full of it! We really are working hard to pay off debt, but we just happen to have the best family ever that’s giving us a little support as well for the things we need to buy for the kids. Would I still buy my son the orthopedic shoes that he needs? Absolutely. It just would set us back in our goals a bit!
I love your blog, truly! You and Jefferson are so inspiring
Keep up the good work!
Mackenzie recently posted..California Dreamin’
Thanks so much, Mackenzie! You’re so sweet and always leave the nicest comments! Thanks for stopping by, and eating a little elephant stew!!
Supportive parents and friends (and other bloggers!) are so important. Sometimes we all need to be talked down off the ledge.
Love your new design BTW! Your site is looking fantastic!
Kris @ BalancingMoneyandLife recently posted..Knowing How to Cook – Basic Survival Skills
I think you’re right, Kris. As long as we don’t all go needy at once, it will work out!
Thanks for the compliment on our site redesign! Andrea W did a great job and we love it so much! It’s very “us.”
What a nice post
. It’s true that to get through hard times, the support of family and friends can make all the difference. It’s a good reminder to help out and support our loved ones who might be struggling with problems that can’t be solved overnight.
Shannon-ReadyForZero recently posted..Ways to Reduce Your Need for Student Loans
This is a good reminder, definitely. I’ve got friends and family who could use a boost or a babysitter or even an ear to let them vent.
“I’ve always enjoyed writing out my feelings and have always felt immediately better after being able to get things off my chest, and onto the laptop screen.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. What a beautiful read!
Lauren @ LBee and the Money Tree recently posted..Before you build a budget-go grocery shopping.
Thank you, Lauren! My laptop is so forgiving and patient with me while I try to sort out my thoughts, which is exactly what I need sometimes.
That’s so awesome that you have such a supportive family. My parents have always been there for me, even when I was busy being a terrible person
I try to help them out now that they’re having some rough times, and hopefully it will be enough.
CF recently posted..My Sony Walkman MP3
When you say “being a terrible person,” do you mean a teenager by any chance? Not that I would know anything about that….but I’ve heard some can be rather nightmarish.
My wife and I are exactly the same. It just so happens that when one wants the splurge, the other usually can bring ‘em back down to earth. it’s a great balance, and without each other to lean on, we’d be in a much worse situation.
And it sounds like your kids have wonderful, generous grandmas
What a blessing!
Jacob @ iheartbudgets recently posted..Michelle’s Frugal Finds: Baby Walker
We are so blessed, Jacob! Awesome that you are your wife are like this, too. I just think it proves you have a lot of respect for each other. When Jeff is down, I try to be strong and take care of things for him, and I know that he always has my back when the roles are reversed (which they are plenty!)
My mother & MIL are wonderful and give so much! I’m glad you have this site too, you have a talent for writing witty and humorous articles.
Jessica @ Budget For Health recently posted..My exercise playlist
Thanks, Jessica! I just write it like it is.
Awe that was very sweet!! I feel the same way about this community and all my friends and family who have shown me support. It’s good not to take those things for granted. Glad I can be part of your little world!
Budget and the Beach recently posted..Fall Goals
I’m so glad you are part of my little world, too! If we ever *really* meet, we are so playing beach volleyball together!!
This is truly inspirational. I can’t count the times my wife saved me from the financial cliff.
I know that there are many families where spouses aren’t supportive. I can’t imagine how to get by if we weren’t sharing the same goals.
JP, I know that there are many couples who don’t have supportive spouses. I don’t know how they survive! We are truly blessed.
Great job with the GP!
I’m still certain that you’re living a life (drinks, getting nails done, shopping), however you’re much smarter and do it with a full on conscience. Congrats on your success, and continue the good work. I love to see people succeed! Cheers!
Eddie recently posted..Who Wears the Financial Pants In Your Relationship?
We are pretty hardcore still, but I did just get a hair cut! It was long overdue. We are super conscientious of our finances now, but I know we will get to a place where I can live a little more…in a responsible way.
It’s hard to face problems alone. Life is much better with supportive families and friends.
Joe @ Retire By 40 recently posted..Say No to Debt
I’m really blessed to have a supportive family.
This was such a heartwarming post that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Being “wealthy” in love and family-wise is definitely something to be thankful for.
MakintheBacon$ recently posted..The “Cycle”ology of Bike Transportation
Aw thank you! I’m glad it spoke to you. I am definitely thankful for my loving family.
Wow, such praise, but the pleasure was mine. I get more out of doing things for the kids than the monies I spend.
Oh, and honey, that lawn will come back. In a normal year with moderate to normal rainfall, a little pre-emergent and some fertilizer will do the trick. A little extra seed late in September will help fill in the totally bare spots.
Lastly, your blog is a pleasure to read. Always witty, and informative. You write from the heart.
Thanks, Mom! Ladies and gentlemen….my biggest fan ^^^