How Vegetarians Do “Turkey Day”
Posted by michelle on Nov 19, 2012 in Minimalism | 21 comments
Having grown up in a large family in which most still live nearby, the holidays have always been a busy, crowded time of year. This year, however, my grandparents didn’t feel like hosting. My grandma hasn’t been feeling well for months and my grandpa just suffered a heart attack a few weeks ago. They don’t have the energy to do it this year, and I can’t blame them. On short notice, we were all told that the big, crowded house full of cousins, aunts, uncles, great grandbabies, smells of pumpkin pie and a turkey baking in the oven wasn’t going to be. We were all going to do our own thing with our smaller, nuclear families. It wasn’t going to be the same, to say the least.
We’ve decided to make the best of it and host a small gathering at our place. I’ll bake some pie, Jeff will pretend he knows what he’s doing with a turkey, our kids will dress up and let me take their picture, and my in-laws will come bearing desserts and holiday cheer. In speaking with my mother-in-law last night, she told my husband that my brother-in-law has a new girlfriend he’d like to bring…and that she’s a vegetarian. ”That’s great. We eat a lot of vegetarian dishes.”
“I don’t know what she’ll eat when we’re all eating turkey!” said my mother-in-law, obviously concerned about this poor meat-deprived girl.
“We’ll have plenty of food she can eat. No problem, Mom.” Jeff calmed his mother’s fears.
After hanging up, I poured myself a generously large glass of cheap boxed wine. The lack of anyone on my side of the family this holiday has been wearing on me heavy this year. It may be silly to some, but it really upsets me. I think that this holiday has gotten way off track. Everyone gets so stressed out; I don’t know why. They worry about non-issues like who’s going to make the turkey, and who’s going to bring the potatoes, who’s going to host and will their house accommodate the crowd? Who will clean the house and who will do all those dishes? Who will drive since the family lives so far away? Will anyone consider their food sensitivity/allergy/special dietary needs? What will they wear? Will everyone else be dressed up? It’s all silliness. I’m sure it wasn’t the wine talking when I found myself wishing that everyone in the world was a vegetarian for Thanksgiving. Oh, how I envied my brother-in-law’s girlfriend that I’ve never once met! How wonderful to have a holiday that you are completely exempt from in the eyes of the simple-minded! Those who think that this holiday has anything to do with turkey couldn’t be more wrong.
We get so wrapped up in the traditions that we often forget why we even have them. I’m not even sure if the first settlers even had a turkey! It’s said that there was a feast, and that they all gathered ’round and gave thanks for their many blessings. These brave pilgrims had survived a long, treacherous journey over icy waters with little drinkable water and food. Many didn’t make the pilgrimage. Those that did were so very lucky. They didn’t have much, but what they lacked they made up for in hope and optimism. They didn’t see a baron land; they saw fertile soil. They didn’t see a lack of shelter; they saw dry, steady land for their weary sea legs. The feast that they shared was so much more symbolic to them. It was a promise to always be grateful for what they had, though at times it may not be much. There would be work and famine and suffering and death ahead, but that night was all about giving thanks.
This Thanksgiving, I’m going to spend time with my husband and children, the people I’m most thankful for. Everyone else is a bonus. The past 9 months have been a struggle. Usually, when we talk about 9 months, we are reminded of pregnancy, only I didn’t have a baby this time. I’ve just been trying to climb out of credit card debt, and we still have a ways to go. Still, I am so very thankful for everything that I have. I feel so rich. This holiday season, I’m not worried about the turkey, or the mashed potatoes, or even the pie. I will make a lovely meal for my family, but that is not what this holiday will be centered around. We will give thanks for all that we have, though at times it may not be much. We have each other. We have a lot of love, optimism, and hope.
So, how do vegetarians do Turkey Day? They do it right. They call it Thanksgiving and remember what’s really important this holiday season. I wish you all the perspective and clarity of a vegetarian this Thanksgiving season.
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Actually, I think the vegetarians snack on something called “Tofurki”. That’s probably not spelled right, but it’s tofu turkey. lol.
You do make an excellent point in your post though: we blow things way out of proportion. It doesn’t matter if the food is done perfectly, or if there are enough chairs at the table; what matters is that you get to spend time with your family, relax, and enjoy their company.
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I’ve heard of tofurkey. Hopefully it’s better than it sounds!
I just eat the non-meat dishes and it’s all good. It’s kinda weird at first, but I’ve gotten used to it. Happy early turkey day you two.
Jen @ Master the Art of Saving recently posted..Schools Letting Kids Spend Parent’s Money Without Permission
I have an allergy to a really popular ingredient in most dishes, so eating with other people is always awkward for me unfortunately. At least this year, I know exactly what I can and can’t eat without having a weird conversation or tons of anxiety. Happy Thanksgiving, Jen!
I’ve never liked Tofurkey, but if the hosts went to a special trouble to prepare something just for me, I definitely make a point of eating it.
But Michelle, I think you’re giving vegetarians too much credit! Just because we aren’t cooking a turkey doesn’t mean we don’t fret about making sure the corn casserole is a close approximation to grandma’s… It’s too easy to get caught up in the planning and fretting.
To fight it, we try and do *something* to give back on Thanksgiving day. Usually it’s small (donating food or something), but it’s a reminder of what actually matters. =)
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You might be right, Mrs. Pop. I think vegetarians and other people with special diets and food sensitivities/allergies probably have a different perspective at least. I’m always so touched when someone remembers that I have food allergies and make sure there’s at least SOMETHING I can eat, but I never expect it. There are too many other people to consider, and since my allergy isn’t common, I just always assume I can eat nothing when I eat with others and eat a snack beforehand. I’m totally used to it!
There is going to be so much food anyway, if she doesn’t eat turkey there is plenty to eat that has no meat. And you are right, the whole thing is about being thankful and being surrounded by loved ones.
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Exactly, Pauline. All about the love and the family, not about the food! (But still have the food…)
Well said. Seems like a lot of our holidays are being being commercialized and the real meanings are getting lost.
I like the side dishes better than the turkey anyway.
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I like the desserts best. I’m going to try not to go crazy…but I can’t make any promises. Hopefully, we can play some games as a family and sing some together too. That way, it’s not all about the food!
Some of the best Thanksgiving food is the vegetarian stuff, I think. Stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole. I just gained 5 pounds thinking about it!
Have a great Thanksgiving, Michelle!
Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted..So You Want to Win the “Lawsuit Lottery”?
Thanks, Holly! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your crew as well!
We have several committed vegetarians in our immediate and extended family. Tofurkey makes regular appearances (I don’t particularly care for it), but as other commenters said, there’s plenty to choose from from side dishes. Food is food, what’s really important is the fellowship around the table.
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Agreed. I’d rather starve and have my family than feast and be alone. We will have a beautiful meal together, but I’m going to try desperately to make Thanksgiving more about giving thanks this year, and less centered around the food.
Excellent perspective. Wine is good and can offer clarity, no?
Enjoy your thanksgiving! I’m glad Jeff was able to calm his mother’s fears… there were several vegetarians at my Thanksgiving potluck and there was still a ridiculous amount of food at the end
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Wine is a great therapist, indeed! I think we will have a great meal that everyone can enjoy hopefully, then we will make sure to remember the real reason for this holiday and give thanks for all we have, and how far we’ve come.
I love the point of this post. Thanksgiving is really about reflection in my mind. Reflecting on how I’ve been blessed in life and what is really important. If we did this more often, we would all be happier and more joyful people.
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We all know what Thanksgiving is really about…pumpkin pie. lol! No seriously! You’re right in that the holidays just get out of hand. I hate all the food-there is just too much of it. We just don’t need that much, you know?
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I’ve have vegetarians over for turkey and it’s not too hard to accommodate. I usually made some mushroom gravy, a squash-based casserole, some potato dishes and some roast veggies. And pie. Pie is universal.
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Great post Michelle! It’s very inspiring. I am a vegetarian, but I don’t care as much about the food on the thanksgiving day as the opportunity this great nation has given me to live and American dream. It reminds me that we are limited by the limits we put on our own thoughts; it teaches me to embrace adversity with an open arm.
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Hope you were able to zero in on the important things, Michelle! I thought of you when making my own version of green bean casserole, thinking, “oh, if I left out the cream cheese, it would still be delicious and Michelle could eat it too!”
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