Parenting

(Mine)Crafting Smiles

Posted by jefferson on Apr 9, 2013 in Parenting | 20 comments

For the past few months, one of the greatest sources of smiles for my two boys (now ages 12 and 9) has been a computer game called Minecraft.  The game is basically a computerized 3D lego world, and playing it clearly gets my kids’ creative juices flowing.  Strangely, my boys both spend far more time talking about the game (with each other and with their friends) than actually playing it.

Whenever my kids are really into something like this,  I always try to make an effort to learn a little bit about it so that I can understand their conversations and perhaps offer some suggestions.  A few weeks ago, I sat down and watched them play the game for half an hour and I was mortified to see how much trouble my home PC was having running the game.  Minecraft is certainly not a very demanding game, as the graphics are very simple and retro, but my system clearly couldn’t handle it.  The amount of lag and crashes that the boys were having to deal with in order to play the game was just painful for me to watch (full disclosure:  I do work on computers for a living).

When I was the same age as my boys, computers and video games were already a big part of my life.  This was back when home computers were just coming into the mainstream, and I was immediately drawn to them.  Within a few months of my parents purchasing the first family PC, I had already learned how to write batch scripts to accomplish repeatable tasks, and had started creating small games in BASIC.  This passion eventually led to my choosing to get a computer science degree in college, and launched me into a career where I am able to earn a fairly decent salary that allows for me to take care of my family.

As such, I certainly encourage my kids to learn everything they can about computers, and I wouldn’t discourage them from one day using these skills to craft a living for themselves (see what I did there?).  About once a month, I give my kids a “daddy computer lesson” where I dig into either the hardware or software side of computers, and pour some of my experience into their brains.  Previous lessons have included setting up a new router, understanding file compression, and replacing a power supply.

After watching them struggle through trying to run a modern game on a five year old system, I realized that their feelings about computers were likely going to be centered around utter frustration, unless I did something.  Since my middle son’s birthday was coming up, I made the pitch to upgrade the home PC as a birthday present to him this year. Since he loves Minecraft as much as anyone, he was immediately on board with the idea.  We packed the family up and went up the local Microcenter to pick up some components to build a new system.

I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to purchase before setting foot in the store, but the staff was extremely helpful with making sure that all of the parts were compatible.  If you don’t have one in your area, Microcenter basically to computer techies what IKEA is to the HGTV crowd, a true nerd candy land.  When the day was done, we took all of the parts home and I began the best daddy computer lesson yet, building a computer from scratch.  Part by part, I put the system together and explained what each part did and why it was important.  My kids asked a lot of questions, which I was thrilled to see, and I think they enjoyed the process.

In the end, the new system blows the old one of out of the water.  The polygon 3D worlds now render quickly and effortlessly. and the system should be able to handle anything we throw at it for the next few years.  I don’t think my kids realize that I was secretly  trying to plant seeds for a potential career down the road, but at the same time, I was clearly crafting some smiles in the process.

Mouths to Feed

Posted by jefferson on Jan 30, 2013 in Parenting | 25 comments

In the past few weeks, I have been writing a lot about the effect that having children has on your decision making process.  Michelle and I have two boys, ages 12 and 8, and a sweet little one year old girl.  Every day I come home from work and try to give all of them a little bit of my attention.  I try to remember to hug them and tell them that I love them every night, and I consider it “mission accomplished” if I somehow find a way to make them laugh at some point in the evening.  As I look into their beautiful faces, I know that these tiny humans and our ability to provide a positive future for them, really does mean everything to me.

We try to teach them how to make friends, how to be good people, and how to make the world a better place.  We share with them our loves and our passions, our hopes and our dreams, hoping that seeing the fire inside of us, will motivate them to be willing to work for their own goals one day.  As we have spent the past year struggling to learn about money and working to get rid of this burden of consumer debt, we have shared this journey with not only you all, but also with our kids.  At the same time, we have taken steps to show our children the correct way to relate to money, and to understand the difference between wants and needs, so that they can avoid going down the same rocky paths when they enter adulthood.

While they are small, these little ones are our responsibility, and ours alone.  All these mouths to feed are relying on their mommy and daddy’s willingness to work as hard as it takes to provide for them a better life.  They are utterly and completely dependent on us, and what we do with that responsibility- will go a long way to determining what awaits these sweet children in the future.  This responsibility influences every decision that I make, financial and otherwise:  from deciding whether or not move to another city (unlikely) to considering whether or not I should ever make the jump to entrepreneurship (probably not).

Our children are also key in the decision making process when purchasing insurance.  Life insurance is an absolute must if you have children, and you should at minimum have a term life policy that is enough to pay off your mortgage and send your kids to college.  If you are a parent and don’t have life insurance, I would strongly recommend that you go to lifeinsurance.org.uk today to see what your options are.  The cost is much less than you probably think.  Kids also effect your choices for other types of insurance as well. They were a strong motivator when I decided to open a healthcare FSA this year and to get an income protection insurance policy.

My children are by far my greatest accomplishment in my life.  Becoming a parent takes everything in life, and wraps it up in a neat little package of purpose and meaning.  That in and of itself, changes everything.  I love being a dad, and my kids will continue to shape every choice that I make, day after day.

The Angel On My Shoulder

Posted by michelle on Dec 18, 2012 in Parenting | 25 comments

It’s 3 in the morning and I have an angel on my shoulder. She shows me a better way to live. She doesn’t hate those that look different or have differing views. She is innocent and sweet and loves everyone. She shows me that there still is good in this world. I haven’t told my little angel about the horrific tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, and I don’t plan to. She doesn’t need to know of all the evil and the sickness in this world. For now, I rock my angel back to sleep and will continue to hold her long after that moment has passed. I’m not worried about the laundry in the corner or the fact that I will surely be tired when that alarm goes off. I rock her and smell her hair and kiss her little cheeks. I feel so lucky to have her in my arms, yet deep beneath this love and warmth is a cold, dreaded guilt. How my heart aches for parents who have lost their little ones. How my heart screams in pain for them. I know that it is heartbreaking to think of those whose lives have been so senselessly taken, but I hope somehow that my thoughts, prayers, and tears will comfort the loved ones of those who have gone on.

Please feel our love and support in your time of need. Please let me and everyone else that was so distraught by your loss take a tiny bit of that pain for you. We will gladly take a little more as we can’t even imagine the magnitude of your suffering.

Awakened by the rain that came so early that morning, my little angel was now snoring on my shoulder. I smiled at her adorable piggy sounds and then again entered the unwelcome guilt. Why me? What have I done to deserve this moment? Why do I get to sit here and enjoy my baby while others are up tonight unable to sleep because they’re missing their little ones? I try not to make a sound as the tears pool in my eyes. I want so badly to hug all the loved ones of the victims. In my mind and in my heart, I do just that.

My young daughter doesn’t know what politics are.  She doesn’t have an opinion on whether we should have stricter gun control or whether our teachers and schools should be fully armed. She doesn’t know what a metal detector is or why some are asking for them in all of our schools. She doesn’t say mean words about her friends who see things differently. My little angel who sleeps on my shoulder at 3 in the morning knows only love.

To know only love is to be so smart. My little angel teaches me so much about the world.

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Our thoughts and prayers are with the families, neighbors, friends, teachers, first responders, and loved ones of those whose lives were taken at Sandy Hook Elementary.